Aussie. Student of the world. Dreamer.
Aussie. Student of the world. Dreamer.
You listen to me. No one of importance gives a damn about how you look or what you own. You have brains, it’s obvious. Everyone’s good looks will fade away, and people put stock in their face lose their self value over time. They get depressed when they get wrinkles, or their tits are too saggy to get a free drink at the bar, or their teeth fall out and their fakeness catches up with them.
Every damn day we watch once attractive celebrities face the great equalizer: age. And 9/10 times they fight it because they are told to, the worst thing they can be is “ugly”. Then we as a society poke fun at their botox distorted faces, their plastic surgery twisted and scarred bodies, their over-processed and thinning hair. It’s more than sad how much society tells you to fight looking ugly, it’s disgusting. We end up embarrassed, feeling worthless and useless when here is the freakin kicker: Everyone that gets old dies physically ugly.
Iggy Pop, Donatella Versace, Janet Reno, Helen Clarke, Anthony Davis, Bronte, Bill Murray, Mark Twain, Stephen Hawking, Elena Kagan… the list of successful people with scars, that are ugly or odd looking, or even physically disabled, people started out poor, or abused, could go on indefinitely. No one gives a damn how they look or where they are from. They are just awesome for the sake of being awesome. Scholars, writers, scientists, actors, singers, athletes, physicists, politicians.
To steal some ideas from others, remember: You are not your car. You are not your apartment. You are not what you own. You are not even your face. Looks are a depreciating asset. You don’t invest money in depreciating assets. Don’t invest your time and energy, they are precious. You are amazing. You have survived your entire life up until now. Abuse, death, loss, pain. You kicked its ass. You’ve set goals and you met them, already you are ahead of the game.
You can make it. Don’t ever let someone else make you feel like nothing, and whatever you do, do not mourn for someone that made you feel like shit. Because you are not shit. You are the best thing that has ever happened. You are radical. You are awesome.
You take that big, unique brain and you rise above. You have been given much more than what 80% of the world has to go on, use it. You aren’t physically disabled, you have smarts, and you are capable, you are a survivor.
Talk to a counselor. Listen to good music. Go for a run. Smile. Force yourself to meditate. These things are free and will help break you out of this funk.
Take a breath and march on. You got this x
Hey mate. Appreciate the kind words and positive vibes. And anyone who says ‘godspeed’ is cool by me. I crave adventure and travel all the time, forever chasing the next journey. You know you can have the lifestyle if you really want it though, I truly believe it. Sit down when you have a quiet evening and dream. Dream big. Then write it all down, work out what you want to really do. And then work out how to make it happen, if you need to work hard for a year to save cash, or if you need to exercise more. Whatever it may be. Also, be the friend who has interesting, creative views. You may be surprised with how it changes your life. All the best.
Thank you Stephanie. I read your bio, and you are such an open-minded person. I love that. Sometimes it is just really cool to go outside at night and stare at the stars and ask big questions. Big, big questions. On other occasions it is just enough to be in awe of it all. Life and all that jazz. Keep asking.
Australia and New Zealand have an agreement, which means I can work and live in NZ as long as I want, without having to apply for any visas. It is pretty lucky. NZ is a really beautiful country, and the people are pretty chilled as well. I think you will love it. The mountains, beaches and valleys- unreal.
I think many men, myself included, share or at least empathize with his idealism. In my frequent solitude, I’ve often considered the arbitrary, temporary comforts that material things bring and the silly, meaningless routines that working adults follow until dying in a much less poetic manner than McCandless (or any other adventurer).
Most men - most people - don’t try to understand or transcend the more humdrum aspects of daily life and live out a philosophy or ideal like McCandless. His case is exceptionally rare, especially in a time where the course of one’s life - especially a youth’s life - is supposed to be predictable. Birth. High school (preferably a private one). College (preferably a ‘nice’ one). Job for 35 years. Retire. Take a cruise. Die. But McCandless’ journey was extreme by any measure.
Intelligent people (like McCandless and Krakauer) eventually make peace - or at least a ceasefire - with society, with the system. Some embrace it, chasing ideals or material pleasure or self-satisfaction or to kill off their personal demons. McCandless’ rebellion was a fierce one, but ultimately, he made his peace. What he would’ve done to sustain that peace is anybody’s guess. But his peace, and the peace of many others like him, is an uneasy one. Predictably, I’m predisposed to play the role of the armchair historian. And so I can’t help but ask myself if the methods by which we organize the society we live in are not at the root of the matter, and more importantly, how many more McCandlesses are there? How many more souls will the system alienate and eventually destroy? Could a pragmatist, a realist working within the system and relishing every minute of it convince me his beliefs were honest? I don’t know anymore.
We are all heroes to ourselves. McCandless was. The final photograph he took of himself is of a wasted face, gaunt but beautiful with the shining eyes of one who has lived his dream and is satisfied. I hope that when my days are up on this earth, that I had the strength and faith to live a good life, follow my own convictions, and be a good friend and influence to everyone that I know. Because happiness in only real shared.
I think that we live or die under the tyranny of perfection. Socially, we are pushed towards being perfect. Physically, beautiful to conform to standards that are cruel and uncommon, to behave and lead our lives in a certain way, to demonstrate to the world that we are happy and healthy and all full of sunshine. We are told to always smile and never sweat by multiple commercials of shampoo or beer.
And I feel that the most achievable goal of our lives is to have the freedom that imperfection gives us.
Imperfection, the acceptance of imperfection, leads to tolerance and liberates us from social models that I find horrible and oppressive. Embrace the imperfection.